I am once again standing on the cliff, the abyss beneath me. Inside me, it whispers, “Are you ready?”

I know that it is better to say YES, for a change is coming in my life that will be all the more painful the longer I postpone it. Yes, I have come this far, at a lofty height, and I realize once again that this path here is at an end.

I could climb back down the same way, but that is unfortunately not possible. Perhaps there is a bridge, a rope, or wings to get to the other side of the abyss? Perhaps a helicopter will pick me up? Maybe I just need to wait? But behind me, I see the three figures I know so well: physical and mental decay, spiritual death, and boredom.

To stay alive, to fulfill my soul’s mission in this world, I must jump into the abyss!

This means that the next initiation is upon me, a letting go of old habits and people that harm my development, thus leaving familiar living circumstances. Then comes the emptiness, and then the new establishes itself. The new will always be what I desire, mixed with experiences and insights that I still lack. I can neither see nor feel it, at most I can vaguely sense it. Hopefully, I do not have to stop smoking for positive changes to occur in my life.

The dark figures behind me are getting closer and reaching for me. I jump…

In the emptiness of free fall, I lose the backpack of obligations, habits, identifications, and intentions. I lose a whole piece of my false self, dissolve, lose my orientation, any sense of time and space…

Everything dissolves, it does not matter whether I am dead or alive, who or what I am, and whether anything has any meaning in truth.

I feel a very soft, gentle landing into a white nothingness.

No one falls deeper than into God’s hands, it is said. I feel loved, held, protected, and yes, I trust what is happening!

I thank my soul, I thank the change, and I am in love!