DON’T BE SO DRAMATIC
When I was 4 or 5 years old, a thorn flew into my left eye while my parents were gardening. I screamed in pain and panic.
My mother wanted to continue working, take care of my younger brother, and then prepare dinner. Since the eye doctor was the father of one of my father’s favorite students, he made an immediate appointment and I got to go to the doctor with my dad. He was never frantic and could convey a deep calm to me much better than my mother.
I still see the doctor in front of me: athletic build, black hair, and a natural authority. I suppressed the pain, believed his words that he would manage it, and obediently sat in the chair. He looked into my left eye, but I couldn’t open it. Moreover, it was constantly watering. As he opened the eye, the pain suddenly returned and my small body squirmed. Then came the phrase from the eye doctor that I had often heard from my dad: “Don’t be so dramatic!”
I allowed it, I did it for my eye. I looked into bright light, received eye drops, and screamed as he moved his finger back and forth in my eye. But I stayed still and lo and behold, he finally showed me a fine thorn from a wild rose. I got a bandage and a pirate patch, candies, and a big compliment for how brave I was. The retina had not been damaged, the eye needed another 1-2 days of rest. We arrived home very proudly and my dad told this experience at the dinner table. “Don’t be so dramatic,” the doctor had said. My mother only remarked: “I know someone who says that to his daughter too.”
The older I got, the more I disciplined myself, adapted to the harshness of the system, and became a good student. At 14, I got glasses, -3.5 diopters in the left eye, and started with -0.5 diopters in the right. At 15, I was snow-blind after a mountain tour, and years later a champagne cork flew into my left eye. A few years ago, the root of a bush grazed my left eye while digging and caused a thick scar in my left eyebrow. I spent 10 years of my life with left-sided migraines every Saturday, had left-sided sinusitis, and my mother later went blind in her left eye and died after 6 left-sided strokes.
My research into the causes revealed a war trauma that was passed on to me – in short. In many healing sessions, I learned to look deeper and discovered more and more about causes and effects with the help of the spiritual world. My mother also had to hold herself together and then let herself go at the end of her life.
I am on my healing path. I no longer need glasses, I take good care of my body, and I open myself to everything I did not want or was not allowed to see as a child and afterwards. I no longer need a doctor and no longer allow any violations without first asking for alternatives, and I have no fear of pain anymore. Pain has become my companion. But at the latest after the first birth of my six children, I knew for sure: “You do not die from pain!”
Yet I still wonder why so many people still fear pain, a paralyzing fear that leads them away from natural bodily sensations and suppresses the important happiness and love hormones. Or is it the addiction to suffering? Meanwhile, my inner vision has also developed and I repeatedly see in people that they have a wide golden path in front of them behind a gate, but are constantly searching for another way. So this patriarchal “Don’t be so dramatic” has not exactly led me into my femininity, but has taken me away from egocentric emotional valleys of suffering. I preferred to orient myself towards positive thoughts and feelings, preferred to laugh than to cry, and preferred to research than to feel like a victim.
This morning, my eye gifted me this memory, and later came a message from my mother’s soul that she is now free and wants to go into the light. My left optic nerve is vibrating right now, as if something is being freed!
CONCLUSION: Pay attention to the signs of your body when you wake up.
